I’m not putting inspirational quotes down. In fact, I think they’re great! But sometimes, you just need an un-inspirational quote that explains life a little bit better.

The Nap Time Quote

You know that quote about moving mountains and all of that? Well, my child’s screams sure can move a mountain. Other than that, this quote is a whole lot more accurate. So. Many. Snacks.

Difficult Roads

Look, some roads do lead to beautiful destinations. But most of them? Flat tires.

Give Me All The Bread

You best believe that if I’m doing some journey of a thousand miles, I’m carb loading. Like, hardcore carb loading. Give me all the gluten-free cinnamon rolls, croissants, and crackers.

Okay, fine. You caught me. A journey of a mile also starts with carb loading.

No, I’m Not Hungry. I Just Want A Bite.

In my defense, I didn’t want all the fries. I just want, like, a bite or two.

I’ll Take The Chocolate

Never say no to chocolate. Never, ever, ever, ever. Chocolate is the best thing you could take. Let’s say yes to having fewer regrets.

I Love You, But Stop Snoring

I know you can’t really hear me when you’re sleeping, but I’m gonna need you to stop the snoring. In fact, I’ll just casually wake you up so that you know you need to stop. Okay? Okay, cool. Byeee, love you.

Who says romance is dead? (Not my book, that’s for sure.)

Take The Cake

You know what’s really sad? When all the cake is gone. Make sure you’re the one who gets to take that last piece of cake, no one else.

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