The days are long but the years are short. It’s a quote that moms hear over and over again, and with the past four years spent raising kids, I can agree. It seems like it was just yesterday that I held my little girl in my arms and became a mom for the first time. But, it also seems like a lifetime ago. Because now, I don’t feel like I have an identity besides being a mom. When someone asks a question about who I am, the first thing I will say is that I’m a mother. And that’s not a bad thing. Not at all. I absolutely love being a mom. The love for my kids is so overwhelmingly strong that sometimes, I cry thinking about how fast they’re growing up.

However, there’s a trade-off to this overwhelming love. I’m tired. Really freaking tired. And I’m not entirely sure how I can explain just how tired I am. Truthfully, I don’t even know why I’m tired sometimes. I’ll look back at my day and wonder what I really did. Sometimes, it’s not a lot. And yet, each night, I’m so exhausted that I just need some time alone.

Maybe it’s the constant sticky hands touching me at all hours of the day. Perhaps it’s the fact that both of my kids are at home and don’t go to school, which doesn’t give me a break. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m worried I’m doing something wrong, and I don’t want to screw my kids up. Or possibly, it’s the fact that they rely on me for everything–from eating to playing with them.

I know how important it is to give my kids my undivided attention. But truthfully, sometimes, I wonder if I’m all alone in my feelings. Do other moms go to bed and wake up refreshed? Do I need to stop working (which seems to be the only thing I do for myself) just so I can dedicate more energy to my kids? Was I just not cut out for motherhood like I thought I was?

I’m just tired. I don’t need someone to fix it, or tell me that it gets better, or that these days are short. I know. I know I’ll wake up one day and my child will be grown, and I’ll wish I could go back to see them as little babies again. I know that.

And maybe, just maybe, that makes it all worse. Because I don’t want to miss out on these little moments when they’re young. When they wake up in the morning and smile at you. When they run in the backyard as you chase them while playing tag. Or when they tell you that they love you.

There is nothing I’d rather do than be a mother. But, it makes me more tired than anything else in the world. Do I think it’s the hardest job in the world? No. Absolutely not. But, do I think it’s the most important and emotionally draining job in the world? Yes. I absolutely do.

I can’t explain why being a mom makes you so tired. All I can tell you is that when a mom says she’s exhausted, don’t try to argue why you’re more tired. Just validate. Tell her she’s doing a good job. Tell her you appreciate her. Tell her that her children are amazing and that you know it’s difficult.